Title: The Once and Future Kitten
Genre: Crack!fic, humor, gen
A/N: For Mom, who stalked my LJ and asked if there would be another chapter :)
Summary: When Merlin inadvertently speaks a spell in his sleep, he wakes up to find himself the be-scarfed kitten of the once and future king of Camelot.
Merlin's eyes darted toward the rainbow that was now arching over the door to his room. It wasn't an easy thing to explain how a meteorological phenomenon came to grace the inside of one's home, and he was certain that Arthur would report the strange sight to his father.
Uther hated rainbows.
The same idea had apparently occurred to Gaius, who froze midway to the door and glanced back at the kitten. At the exact same moment, the Prince got tired of waiting and burst upon the scene.
"Right, then. Where's Merlin?" Arthur snapped, folding his arms across his chest and fixing Gaius with a hard look.
"Mrrrrrewwwwwwww!" came a forcible meow from across the room, followed by a soft galumph! from the doorway behind Gaius.
"Ye gods, are those daisies?" the Prince scoffed, leaning to peer around Gaius' shoulder.
The old man turned around, then slowly faced back forward. "It would appear so, sire."
"What are they for?"
"There's a whole mountain of them."
"We're very hungry."
Arthur blinked. "Wait, you said you eat them?"
Gaius pursed his lips. He needed to keep the Prince distracted as long as possible. "Em…yes. In soup."
Gaius smiled. "And sometimes we deep fry them."
"And Merlin likes to make little daisy chains with them when he's bored."
Arthur choked on his laughter. "Ha! Daisy chains! What, for Gwen? Or Morgana?"
"No, for his stuffed animals. They have little tea parties together."
Arthur threw his head back and laughed, whilst a deep growl came from the pile of flowers across the room.
Arthur straightened immediately. "Tell me, Gaius, did your daisies just snarl at me?"
"I do not know, sire. I have not known them to be vicious."
"Wait. Look, there!" the Prince pointed, stooping to the ground. "I thought I saw a pair of eyes."
"Perhaps the daisies are mutating."
"Nonsense. Speaking of which, as I asked earlier, where's Merlin?"
Gaius shrugged. "I haven't seen him all day. I thought he had gotten up early to get about his daily work."
The Prince rolled his eyes. "Pssh. Right. The lazy idiot is probably somewhere goofing off. Or bumbling about the castle, knocking things over, accidentally setting things on fire, and burning down Camelot in the process. Shouldn't take too long to find him," Arthur sniffed pretentiously, swaggering about the room. "Just find the next source of chaos and there we'll find Merlin."
"MREAAARRRRRRRR!" A black streak of fur shot out from beneath the pile of daisies and latched itself onto Arthur's leg, before beginning to claw its way up.
"Dear God, what is that?? What is it?! Ack! Ack!" Arthur flailed about the room, trying to release the kitten's clawed hold on his knee. "Sword! Where is my sword? Get off me, you little idiot!"
At that word, the cat dug his claws in deeper and sunk his tiny teeth into the Prince's leg.
"ARGHHH! It's a kitten! A demonic kitten!" yelped Arthur, swatting at the ball of fur attached to him.
Gaius chuckled from where he had settled in to watch. "Don't call him names. Apologize and I'm sure he'll let go."
"It's a cat!" Arthur retorted. "And an idiot one at that for picking a fight with me!"
Merlin hissed and scrambled up to furiously bat Arthur's face with his paws.
"EAAAARGHHHH! He's hitting me! Bad kitty! Dead kitty!" Arthur's hand grasped desperately for anything with which to knock the beastie off. A second later, he was grasping a glass bottle and swinging it toward its target.
The kitten's eyes flashed gold in an instant.
The Prince sputtered, flailing about. "Gah! Damn daisies!" Temporarily blinded, he stumbled backward and hit the far wall before crashing to the floor with a thud.
Merlin released his claws from Arthur's nose and bounced to the floor with a short, "Mrrew" before trotting across the room toward Gaius. He planted himself at the old man's feet and began to purr contentedly to himself.
Arthur sprang to his feet, fixing the triumphant kitten with a steely glare. "I'll end you, insolent cat."
Merlin purred louder.
The Prince poked a gloved finger in the kitten's face. "Watch it, fuzzball. The next time I see you, you'll regret it. Do you hear me, cat?"
Merlin blinked. Then hacked up a hairball.